Say what you want, I can think of billions of worse uses for a wish. Namely everything but that one. Actually free burgers for life would also be pretty good, I don’t know, it’s a tie.

I often think about what I would actually do with a wish like that. I’d probably wish for superpowers, and then use those powers to find a faster way to finish my projects so that I could spend more time watching TV or something. I mean yeah I could ask for all the riches in the world or some shit like that, but those stories all end with the dude getting some kind of curse or something, some kind of karmic retribution that leaves him wondering “why oh why didn’t I spend my wish on feeding the whales” or whatever it is that people wanna do these days. Put up a new ozone layer or something. Criminalize carbon.

Nah, I want my wish to be like “yeah, okay, that’s pretty sweet, but it’s really only slightly impacting the world as a whole” but then if I get a bunch of people all up in my shit about how I’m not using my wish for good I can go save a cat from a burning building or something like that, keep ’em off my back for a couple weeks and just watch Married With Children from bed.