I’m reasonably certain that this is something that is happening to students across the nation. I think that this is an epidemic, and that if you are doing anything other than promoting awareness for this issue right now, you are a goddamned criminal. This is a real problem, people.
I’ve added a little button on the left of the page. Upon pressing this button you’ll be transported to a wonderful world where tiny phrases scroll down a page. These phrases will consist mainly of things that I put into my phone while I’m on the bus (hobo pee, for instance, would be a common phrase). You can press a series of buttons that allows you to ‘follow’ me, and observe as I say things that don’t make any sense. I do this for you.